Living in Fear vs Living In The Moment

Fear. It is funny how this single thing can trigger so many emotions in us. Aside from the obvious associated feelings of anxiety, panic and terror, to name a few, fear can trigger negative emotions such as disassociation, dread, anger, and being overwhelmed. Equestrians are no strangers to fear. Many of us have to overcome some level of fear each time we put our foot in the stirrup to mount. Others feel it even walking out to the paddock to catch their horse. 

Photo Credit: Mutt Love Photography

Horses, too, experience these fear-based emotions. Often to a far greater degree than we humans do, since they are prey animals. Working through our fears is one of the greatest accomplishments we can make not only for ourselves, but for our horses. The more confident, relaxed and secure we can become, the more we will be able to help our horses to do the same. When we can provide a safe environment for our horses (not just physically, but emotionally), they can let their guard down. I truly believe this is one of the reasons why horses enjoy connecting with humans so much. We can lead them to a better-feeling place. 

So many times, when we are in a fearful state, we focus on the negative emotions we associate with fear. But fear can also lead us to many positive emotions. Fear can challenge and inspire us. It can be the motivation we need to change something in our lives that isn't working for us. Overcoming it can give us feelings of joy, accomplishment, and freedom.

Fear is often connected to love. We are scared of losing the people and animals we care about. We are afraid of something happening that could prevent us from doing the things we love. We worry we will let ourselves or our horses or someone else down. What if instead of focusing on our fears, we could shift our focus, even just slightly, toward the positive aspects of fear? What if, just briefly, we could be grateful for the fear we are feeling in the moment? Grateful that it is showing us how much we care? Grateful that we have things in our life that are that important to us? Grateful for the opporunity we have to work through it? What if we can focus in the moment on the things we aren't afraid of, like breathing? 

The next time you find yourself in a situation where you are afraid, try thinking of something you're grateful for, and something you feel confident about. Count your breathing to ground yourself (inhale one, two, three four, exhale one, two three four; repeating in segments of four breaths in and out) and bring yourself into the present moment. Fear and anxiety usually indicate we are living in the past or future, not the present moment. We are either dwelling on something that has happened in the past, afraid of reliving it, or anxious about some future possibility that has not yet happened. Most of the time, in the present moment, we are okay. If we can bring ourselves back to the present, we can live without fear in that moment. The more of those moments we can string together where we realize we are ok, the closer we are to releasing our fears.