The Joy is in The Journey

How many times have you set a goal in your riding that you have not achieved? Pretty much everyone who rides horses will answer this question with one word: Lots. Things happen that “set us back” in our goal achievements: horses get injured, training a new movement takes longer than we thought, the weather prevented us from riding consistently, work got in the way, the horse trailer broke down, our horse doesn’t behave the way we expect it to in the show ring and we got a lower score than we wanted...the list is varied and can go on for pages.

Photo Credit: Mutt Love Photography

So why, if this happens to all of us, do we feel so defeated or frustrated when we don’t hit a goal? Why is there such an incredible, overwhelming sense of disappointment when things don’t “go our way”? Most often, it’s due to two interconnected things:

1.     We have attached a timeline to our goal. We want it to happen when we want it to happen, because:

2.     We are stuck on this idea that when we achieve something, we will be happier

We get so focused on what we want to achieve, that oftentimes we forget to enjoy the present moment. We are on this planet for a limited time, and our horses are only with us for a fraction of that time. We get so hung up on achieving our goals and getting to some future accomplishment that we forget why we do this: because we love our horses, and we love spending time with them. At the end of the day, it’s not about what we accomplish with them, it’s about enjoying the time we spend with them along the way. When we lose sight of this, it takes us away from enjoying the journey and puts our focus only on achieving the goal.

Horses don’t care what we achieve, they care about how we make them feel when we are with them. Ultimately, that is what we care about too – people who love their horses don’t want to achieve a goal at the expense of their horse, or their relationship with their horse. They don’t want to push their horse so hard to get a 70% on a dressage test that it goes lame the next day, or train so hard that their horse runs away when they go out to catch it. What we want is to have a happy, willing partner that we enjoy riding and that enjoys the process of achieving whatever goals we set as much as we do.

Every animal lover is devastated when they lose a beloved pet. We dread the day we have to say goodbye to our horses, dogs, cats, or other sentient beings. So why do we take away from the time we have with them in the Now, by wishing we were somewhere in the future? Why do we get so hung up on getting the next perfect score, or learning the next movement? Why do we want to rush to that place of accomplishment? Why do we think we will be happier when we get there? Because, learning and growing are also part of the enjoyment of life on this planet. As Bob Proctor said, “You’re either growing or dying.” A desire for growth and expansion is one of our driving forces. It is exciting to set goals and achieve them. It is stimulating to push ourselves to our limits. It is fun to participate in sports and have a horse as your teammate.

If that’s the case, if growth and expansion and a desire to achieve are a positive aspect of human nature, does that not contradict living in the Now and enjoying the present moment? Does setting goals mean we let our horses down by not living in the moment with them? Is it wrong to set goals for our riding? Do we have to choose between enjoying the moment or focusing on goal achievement? Amazingly enough, the answer is no – we do not have to choose one or the other. We can have both; we can set goals and still enjoy every moment we spend with our horses. We can set a direction for our journey yet enjoy the process as much as the destination. So, what is the secret to having both? To keeping a balance between goals and enjoying the Now?

The answer is shockingly simple and lies encrypted within the first problem outlined above. Have a flexible timeline. We can set the goal, but we don’t control when or how it will happen. Riding is different from all other sports, because we are partnering with an animal that has its own life, feelings, impulses, and desires. We can help them along the way, but we cannot control every aspect of their lives. Anyone who’s ever had a horse injure itself despite doing everything possible to prevent an injury knows this for a fact.

If we let go of how and when the goal achievement will happen, and let the timeline be loose/flexible, it takes the pressure off us and our horses. Sometimes this means accepting it could take another year or two to achieve. Sometimes it means accepting it might happen with a different horse down the road, not our current horse. Sometimes it means the goal will shift slightly to become more attainable. If we can allow this flexibility to come into play, we can focus on enjoying the journey instead of the end goal. If we allow our goals to morph over time into the right fit for us and our horses and happen at the right time for us and our horses, we can still have goals without the pressure, without taking away from the enjoyment of the journey. There will still be disappointments over setbacks, but we will know that the goal is still there, and still achievable one day. Life is everchanging and evolving, just as we are. If we allow our goals to change and evolve and remove the pressure of a fixed timeline, then they will flow with life.

Enjoy every moment you have with your horse, because time is limited, and we only have so much of it with each horse that comes into our lives. Remember we do this sport because of our love of being with these incredible animals, and the more we can be with them instead of focusing just on doing with them, the more joyful and grateful we will be for every moment we spend with them. Enjoy each step in the direction of a goal, and be grateful for the seemingly little things, like feeling the connection you have to your horse when you’re in the saddle and they respond to an aid you give. Celebrate the little successes, not just the big ones. I’ve always made the most significant leaps forward in my horses’ training when I’ve gone back to basics. Those little things become the bigger things and ultimately turn out to be biggest thing of all: connection and harmony with horses. Then the goals become the icing on the cake when they’re achieved, instead of separating us from our enjoyment of life with horses.